Choosing to Honor
This weekend, I was so excited about a project my husband was teaching the boys, I had to take pictures.
No, they are not about to remodel the vintage blue bathroom. These are after pictures. They were taken after my husband taught the boys how to clean the bathroom.
I usually clean the bathrooms. I did not ask my husband to clean them, nor did I anticipate he would choose to spend a Sunday afternoon teaching his sons to clean. The fact is, he did it. More importantly, I let him.
Do you ever correct your husband? When he fills the dishwasher, do you go behind him and move things around the right way? If he does the laundry, do you resort it, or refold it the right way? Okay, here’s the big one….If he dresses the kids, do you change them or tell him the items he selected didn’t match?
Someone please say “yes!” to this or some other correction you know you do. I know I’ve done it. I can be a little obsessive about how I like things done, so it can be an internal battle to just be thankful for the help. Do you know that our correction of our husbands is sin?
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33
Not only does our correction of our husbands disrespect them, but it causes them not to want to help.
Although I used to think my husband was oblivious to details I found important, I learned that was not completely true. Last summer Little Bear began a Saturday morning with an outrageous combination of clothing. I chuckled to myself, but praised her for getting herself dressed and assured her she was beautiful. Later, as my husband prepared to take the littles along to the hardware store, he asked if I could get her changed while he made his shopping list. To my question if they were going to more than the hardware store, he explained, “If you were taking her shopping people would think she dressed herself and that it’s cute. When I take her shopping they will think I dressed her.”
My husband is aware that we do things differently. He even explained that to the boys as he was teaching them to clean. He further informed them to follow whatever future instructions I might give them regarding cleaning, even if it was different then how he did it.
When the guys were done, I was full of thanks and praise. They even cleaned the toilet, so how could I not be overjoyed!?! If you’re wondering if they cleaned to my standards, I can honestly say I didn’t notice.
Honoring my husband is a choice. I have to choose if it is more important to appreciate his help or if I’m going to complain about his efforts.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1
Are you building your house?
That is wonderful! It is hard, esp if they (the husband) was never taught to do any cleaning or cooking growing up. This requires much patience on my part, I guess.
My husband wasn’t expected to cook or clean growing up either. I think he figured it out on his own during his college days. My patience does falter at times, and I usually have to make sure my expectations are in the right place. Hang in there!! 🙂
Yes, yes, yes! You’re not alone. A good reminder for me in how I ought to respect my husband. Thank you!
When Clint and I first married we did all the house chores together, cooking, cleaning and even the laundry, it really helped us build our expectations together. We still share most of everything. My son unfortunately is a different story altogether.
That’s awesome! We did that also, but the dynamics sure changed when I became a stay at home wife and mom.
Have to admit I am guilty! The dishwasher has to be loaded my way, is there any other?-lol
I definitely do not struggle with that one. Someone wants to clean my kitchen for me, and I’m all “Yes please! Let me get out of your way!!” 😉