God amazes me. I don’t think I should be surprised, but I am. Recently He’s reminded me of His comfort. While driving home from an errand, on what had not been the most delightful day, I looked up into the clear blue sky and saw a perfect X made by contrails where two planes had crossed.
Now I know crossing contrails may not make most people think about God’s comfort. In fact, there are many that hold concern for the chemical content of aircraft vapor trails. Bare with me.
A few weeks after the death of my second son Alexx, I had to send his older brother off on a trip. Although the two brothers had traveled a number of times to visit family, this would have been his first time flying alone. I knew he was looking forward to the trip but was anxious about the flight.
On the day of departure, my heart was heavy and I prayed for the Lord to be with him and to comfort and protect him. I also added, from a mother’s heart grieving with loss, to give Alexx a hug for me. I requested that every now and then, could I be given a sign that he was occasionally looking down on us while he waited for us to join him. I even suggested the sign be a heart-shaped cloud or even an X. I chuckled as I remember how proud Alexx was about having two x’s in his name.
The thought of a heart-shaped cloud stirred memories of Alexx’s funeral. Friends had spent hours filling balloons and affixing a label on each with Alexx’s name, date of birth and death, and his favorite scripture John 3:16. His funeral had ended with a festive balloon release. Although each balloon was released individually, they rose into the air like a single mass. High in the air, the mass continued until many looked away. Those remaining testified to seeing the balloon cluster form a perfect heart before finally dispersing in varied directions.
My oldest son went on his trip and all went well. The day after he departed my heart still felt heavy. As I drove to work I wasn’t really paying attention to anything but the road in front of me. I was suddenly startled. The radio became especially loud and the announcer said “It’s the strangest thing. It’s like two planes have crossed in the sky and there’s a giant X over the city!” Suddenly, the road I was driving came into a clearing. As I looked up at the sky I could see a perfect X.
I am awed by how the God of the universe cares enough about me to extend His comfort and lift my spirit.
Despite encouragement, I have struggled with moments of heavyheartedness. Only a snippet of the latest news can often be heartbreaking. Even more heartbreaking is the reality that the many individuals listed in news stories as having died, may not have known Jesus as their savior.
When recently praying, I voiced a desire for the Lord to return soon. I received a quick and corrective response in Amos 5:18-19
Woe to you who long for the day of the Lord! Why do you long for the day of the Lord? That day will be darkness, not light. It will be as though a man fled from a lion only to meet a bear, as though he entered his house and rested his hand on the wall only to have a snake bite him.
I have prayed many times in the past asking the Lord to burden my heart with what burdens His. My heart grieves for the lost. Although His return would be joyous for many, it would be a sentence of eternal suffering for those that do not know Him.
A guest speaker at church taught on John 3:16 last weekend. Alexx’s favorite verse. Throughout the teaching, sweet memories went through my mind. My son did not let cancer defeat him. He often professed that God would heal him, stating that either his life would continue on earth or he would be healed in heaven as there was no cancer in heaven. He displayed amazing faith. He shared his love for Jesus with clear simplicity.
As I pondered the events of my week and took them to prayer, I asked the Lord what I could do. My heart grieves for those that do not know Him. I am now a homeschool mom. What can I do Lord? My day, my season, is teaching and training my children. How can I go beyond my home and neighborhood, into my community and beyond, and yet remain in the season You’ve called me to? I want to take action for the burden on my heart. I received a quick, and gentle response in Luke 10:2
The harvest if plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field
And so I pray. For my family, my friends, my neighbors, my community, those reading this blog, and beyond. For I know that,
God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish but have eternal life!!! John 3:16
My God is good! He is a God of Comfort!